Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
