guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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