I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
