he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
