New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
