No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
