I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
