oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
