I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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