we have pet lesbian snakes
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
