Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
