He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
no you cant smoke seaweed
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
