I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
