I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
