Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
This couple is walking their pig around campus
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
