My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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