having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize