i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
