She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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