watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize