You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
