I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
