is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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