Non-Jews are for practice
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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