ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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