Well apparently he's into motor boating.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
