It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
