I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
