the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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