i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I smell like Dick and happiness
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
