brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
