winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
