She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
