Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
