Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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