It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It's just like the Real World with babies
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
