Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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