Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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