I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
