i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize