dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Randomize
