get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
