I cannot find my penis.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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