Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
