just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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