Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize