i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize