We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
