like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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