I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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