Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
