plz talk dirty to me
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
