Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
