Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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