Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
