My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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