Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
