shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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