My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
