His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
