Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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