I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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