He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
