Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
