that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize