Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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