It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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