I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My dad is sitting where you rode me
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
