It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
