Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
