Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
