i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
